Forgiveness, Friendship & Fatigue

It's amazing to me how many things we push to the back of our minds. What's even more notable is that these things can weigh us down. Without understanding why, we may go through our days with the uneasy feeling that we're carrying a backpack full of undetermined contents--weighing about 150 pounds.

I thought that my pushing my anger to the back recesses of my "medulla oblongata" (don't know what part of the brain that actually is, I just remember it from The Waterboy) and pretending the receiver of my anger did not exist would make everything ok. And thusly I have lived the past few months of my life. Although now that I pause to think, I bet I've done this before with other things...hmm...food for thought that I'll save for after dinner tonight. I wonder how much those items weigh?

Cutting to the chase, communication was once lost was re-established between me and one of my close friends. The minute I heard back I felt as though the 150 pounds were instantly lifted off of my shoulders. Things may not be the way they once were, but the weight is gone.

I now think it was by no accident I felt the weight there. I thought my friend had forgotten me. And while I may have pushed this dear friend of years out of my conscious thought, he found his way to the imaginary backpack I carry everywhere I go. All 150 pounds of him.

The whole experience has given me reason to think about things in a new way. I wonder how my actions (or non-actions) are affecting those whom I love. Does anything I do affect my family, my friends? If so, is it a positive way? I'll be thinking about this rather diligently for awhile.